If you’re a coach on the journey to help others become their best selves, you might feel like you’re juggling flaming torches while riding a unicycle. But fear not! Today, we’re going to explore three coaching techniques that will help you keep your balance without setting your patients (or yourself) on fire. Let’s look at three techniques that you can
start using in your coaching sessions immediately: “Holding the Silence,” “Appreciative Inquiry,” and “Use of Self.” Put the flaming torches down, and let’s get started!
1. Holding the Silence: The Uncomfortable Power of… Not Talking
First up, we have the magical technique of holding the silence. Yes, you heard that right! Sometimes, the most powerful thing you can do as a coach is… absolutely nothing. Imagine this: you’re having an in-depth coaching conversation with your patient and then you ask a deep, probing question about their health or goals—something like, “You mentioned how your family is a big motivator, what would your wife/children say if they heard you say this in our session?”. Then, you sit back and let the silence do its work.
Now, it might feel a bit like that awkward pause when you forget someone’s name but trust me—this prolonged silence is golden. Even after they respond to a great question, hold the silence a little longer…In those moments of silence, coachee’s often dive deep into their thoughts, unravelling feelings they didn’t even know they had. Think of it as giving them space to channel their inner philosopher, except without the toga and sandals.
Psychologically, this technique taps into the power of reflection. It encourages patients to process their thoughts more thoroughly and can lead to significant breakthroughs. As humans, we often want to fill silence to prevent a conversation from being awkward, but in a coaching conversation, letting the silence run on a little longer can be vital. Just
remember: hold the silence – my tip would be to count to 4 in your head before saying anything (it’s not as long or awkward as you think!).